| Sample Ceremony - Todd & Amy (Ball & Chain) |
Welcome
Friends and family, what a joy it is to welcome you here, for we have come to celebrate the miracle of love and to witness the union of this couple as they begin their lives together as partners in crime.
Todd and Amy, every experience you have ever had, everything you have ever done, and every twist and turn in life has brought you to this very moment as you now stand before your friends and family to get hitched to the ol’ ball and chain.
Message to the Bride and Groom
Well, here we are! This is for real! It’s New Year’s Eve – the world is about to begin a new year and the two of you are about to begin a new chapter in your lives together. The old chapter began just a few months ago with a Hello Kitty doll dressed in a wedding dress, a stuffed Monkey dressed in a tux, and Todd down on one knee asking Amy to marry him. And for the record, it was an actual monkey and not the kind of monkey that one sees along the side of the road in Stoughton (you’ll have to ask Amy about that later).
This new chapter begins with the two of you and Ethan looking towards the future with big plans. The beautiful part is that nobody knows what this chapter has in store. The pages may include a little brother or sister for Ethan (in which case there will also probably be a minivan…sorry!). They will hopefully include more Vikings and Cubs losses and more Packers and Brewers wins. They will certainly include more bowling, more summers at the cabin, more Jimmy Buffet concerts, and more football and baseball games, more Vegas trips, and many more funny movies watched together.
Most importantly, the pages will include what is most important to the two of you – more time with each other and your family.
I love to ask couples two questions. The first is when did you know that you’d found the one. Amy told me that there wasn’t really a ‘moment’ when she knew – it was just a gradual thing as they spent time together. She began to understand that Todd loves her for who she is. Amy can be herself around Todd, knowing that he will love her no matter what and in his eyes, she is absolutely perfect.
Todd, on the other hand, knew Amy was the one the very second she told him that she was the one for him.
The other question I ask is why do you want to get married. Both of you chose to get married because you have found the one person in this world that you were meant to be with. You have found your companion, your lover, and your best friend. You have each found someone who will love you because of all your little quirks and faults, not despite them. And, perhaps most importantly, you have found someone that makes you laugh. No matter what this new chapter in your lives has in store for you, if you can laugh together, you will live and love together for the rest of your lives.
Vows
Todd and Amy, the two of you are about to become husband and wife. You are about to pledge everything you have and everything you are to each other. This is not a commitment that either of you should take lightly. The vows you are about to take do not come with an asterisk or fine print that says “unless I change my mind” or “unless I’m having a bad day” or “until it becomes too difficult.” The promises you are about to make to each other must be honored every moment of every day for the rest of your lives………forever………until the end of time (trying to make it sound like it’s a really really long time). But…these promises come with the greatest reward you could possibly imagine – a life sentence of true and honest love.
Reading
Before sharing their vows, the bride has asked that I share a brief reading: Todd, You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in any argument you have for the rest of your life. You have the right to speak your mind when asked. If you cannot come to the same opinion as Amy, she will appoint one for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? (supposed to sound like he’s being read his rights)
Todd won’t say anything
Amy: He does
Vows:
Todd
· I promise to pick up my dirty socks every day and not leave a pile by the couch
· I promise I will try to listen to 10% of your conversations during Packer games
· I promise to take you to Chicago at least every other year, even though I’d rather poke my eye out with a fork
· I promise to let you dress Ethan in Vikings and Cubs gear
· I promise to make sure your car always has its tires rotated and the oil is changed
Amy
· I promise to make sure I rinse the peanut butter off of the spoon before I put it in the dishwasher
· I promise not to intentionally misplace all of Ethan’s Green Bay Packer clothing
· I promise to make sure the fridge is never without milk
· I promise not to clutter up the whole bathroom counter with all of my girly crap
· I promise to make you tuna fish and noodles at least once a month
Rings
Todd – Do you promise to accept Amy the way she is even if she is a Vikings fan, to always be honest with her even though your opinion won’t count? Do you promise not to take your relationship for granted, to be there for her and love her for the rest of your life?
I do (place ring)
Amy - Do you promise to accept Todd the way he is even if he hates Chicago, to always be honest with him even though you already know you are always right? Do you promise not to take your relationship for granted, to be there for him and love him for the rest of your life??
I do (place ring)
Pronouncement
Todd and Amy, you have chosen to enter into a life sentence of love and commitment with each other by pledging your vows and sealing those vows with the exchange of the rings. With the power vested in me by the State of Wisconsin I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the ol’ ball and chain.
Presentation of Bride/Groom
Friends and Family, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Lastname
Recession