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Message to the Bride & Groom - Online Gaming

For those of you that don’t know the background story, IAN and IRENE met in a unique way: not through work, classes, or dating sites, but through the medium of games, transcending a thousand miles of distance to establish a connection with each other online.

For many, this unusual circumstance would have been an insurmountable barrier, but for IAN and IRENE, it somehow simply “worked.” It’s been said that if your relationship can survive a long distance relationship, it can survive anything, and the beginning five and a half years of their relationship was not only rooted in this, but flourished in the mutual trust and respect that it required.

The backbone of their relationship has been and continues to be the time they’ve spent together in games. From the simplicity of the text-based games they were playing when they first met to fragging each other in the latest first-person shooters, they’ve built their relationship around a core of “play.”

IAN and IRENE were kind enough to provide me with several excerpts from various psychology sources on the importance of “play” because it has been such an integral part of their relationship.

Don’t worry…I’m not going to quote any of it. Between you and me, it was WAY over my head. But what I did pick up on was one recurring theme: “play” helps people learn how to work in groups, solve problems, negotiate, and how to resolve conflict. The personality that emerges during play is often not the same face that people show in business or in their social lives—and the person you come to know through it isn’t based on appearance, but is instead grounded in how they treat others and what actions they choose to take.

IAN and IRENE are truly very lucky. As adults, they managed to not only tap into the art of play that many of us grow out of, but also to somehow find each other while they were there. 

IAN and IRENE, you have grown and learned together, from the first messages you exchanged all the way to this point of commitment. You’ve traveled a long road to be at each other’s sides and throughout your journey you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way.

All those conversations held over the phone and online, all those sentences that began with "when we're finally together" and continued with "we will…", all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow", all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart, those are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "you know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed—well, I meant it all, every word."

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another—acquaintance, friend, companion, and even teacher. Now you shall say the few words that will take you across a new threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife.

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